“You Haven’t Got Very Far, Have You?”

Shut the hell up. “You haven’t got very far, have you?” was a remark I had last week regarding the book I was reading for my summer reading challenge.  I know that it’s meant to be a conversation starter but there are many things wrong with that simple question: I’m reading. Fuck off. (Rude, but […]

Things Sauron And I Have In Common

Summer has well and truly arrived now and the pollen count has finally reached critical levels. My eyes look like, as my mum once so eloquently put it, piss holes in the snow (one of the best phrases I ever learnt). I suddenly understand Sauron’s point of view. Here the guy is with a GIANT […]

I’m Sorry – We Can’t Be Friends

I don’t know about you, but there are some things that people say that instantly turns me off (like the verbal equivalent of being teabagged by a dead mouse)… It sounds judgemental and it absolutely is, but if you say any of the following in real life conversations – we’re through! In order of infuriating […]

Grumpy Wednesday

I’m in an absolute arse of a mood today, the kind of day that passes by so. very. slowly. I’m usually surprisingly laid back for someone who swears like a sailor and considers contact sports a hoot, but today everything was getting in the way of the things I wanted to do and I was […]