It’s been a while since I last posted anything that wasn’t a review so I thought I’d check in before 2016 arrives (cutting it fine, I know!).
2015 has been a big year for me, not least because I read more books this year than I have since I was in my teens.
I’m not sure why I stopped reading so much, I never went below 10 books a year but now I’m back to 3+ a week and I love it. The only issue of course is that reading fiction leads to empathy, and empathy apparently leads to mega feels all the time which is weird but something I’m trying to embrace now I’m in a better place than I was at 16.
This year, I had the ‘you need to lose weight’ conversation with my doctor for the first time- she told me, I didn’t just go to my local surgery and call my doctor fat – after seeing a dangerously high blood pressure and my cholesterol riding up.
I can’t honestly say that I’ve mastered the diet part, though I’m proud to say that I have managed to overcome some of my milder allergies to vegetables by slowly building up a tolerance over the past 12 months so it can’t all be bad.
I’ve been to the gym 1-4 times a week for the past few weeks and started to make real progress now, my daily heart rate is going down to levels that don’t risk my head exploding and all my clothes are fitting much better so I’m proud!
My family life is complicated but this year I’ve made steps to start disconnecting myself from all of the relatives that make me feel bad about myself, whether they mean to or not.
I was raised to believe that family was important but it’s only as I get older that I realise that the majority of my family hasn’t done a damn thing for me, either actively hurting me or passively allowing me to be hurt – sadly, I’m not a forgiving type when it comes to deep hurts and I know they won’t change, so I’m doing the bravest thing I can and cutting them out of my life altogether.
The thing that has made this all possible is finding a new family, people who genuinely seem to enjoy my company (it’s taken me 3 years to believe that) and want the best for me. I didn’t realise that there were people who could be so kind just for the sake of kindness, and now I know that’s exactly the kind of person I want to be.
On a less startlingly intense note, I also learnt how to knit this year! It was really difficult to begin with as I’m a lefty with terrible co-ordination problems but a member of aforementioned kind family sat me down with the patience of a saint and went over it again and again until I had it figured out. So now I have an overabundance of scarves I’ll never wear and the beginnings of a blanket from when I realised I really didn’t want any more scarves and didn’t have the skill to make anything that wasn’t square or rectangular.
Tonight I’ll be having a cosy night in and thinking about everything I’ll be leaving behind in 2015 and everything I want to accomplish in 2016, then probably start snoring come 12:01.
One of my proudest achievements from this year has to be this blog, I started it back in May with no idea what direction I was going to take it in and the adorable enthusiasm of someone who things from the outset that they’re going to manage to post something up every day (bless), but I’ve managed to figure out what it is I want to write about and post something at least once a week, so that has to count for something!
Anyways, I wish you all the happiest of New Years and hope that if you’ve suffered any setbacks or unhappiness this year, you are able to cut some of those cares loose tonight and start again.