I’m Sorry – We Can’t Be Friends

I don’t know about you, but there are some things that people say that instantly turns me off (like the verbal equivalent of being teabagged by a dead mouse)…

It sounds judgemental and it absolutely is, but if you say any of the following in real life conversations – we’re through!

In order of infuriating awfulness:

1) Guesstimate


I have never been more disappointed in the Oxford dictionary. Never.

‘An estimate based on a mixture of guesswork and calculation’

No. That is an estimate. An estimate is a mixture of guesswork and calculation.

I recently heard a management team using this word excessively, which reignited my passion to have this word removed from existence. I know my revulsion at this word is a bit silly, but it just sounds so…. ignorant…. yet it’s used almost exclusively by educated people.

2) LOL

Lol, Laugh, Loud, Funny, Happy, Laughing, Fun, SmileI hope you’re lucky enough to have not encountered this one before and that this comes across as a scary story to be told to young children as a cautionary tale… there are real people out there that say ‘LOL’ rather than laugh. These are terrible people and shouldn’t be allowed to mix with decent members of society, but shunned until they learn the error of their ways. Even then, you’ll be glaring at them suspiciously whenever something funny happens just to make sure they really are LOL.


As in “Hey, can I lend your delightfully stylish hat?”

Firstly, no. I look fabulous in this hat.
Secondly, why did your primary school teacher not beat that one out of you?!

I can mentally deal with the itch/scratch mix up, but borrow/lend are the difference between me lending you a bottle of water while your eyebrows catch fire or just setting fire to them.

4) I’m soooo OCD

Hush your face, oh ignorant one. Apart from being a grammatical faux pas, saying this if you don’t have a genuine diagnosis of obsessive compulsive disorder means that you need to crack open a book on the subject.

Washing the dishes before you go out doesn’t mean you have OCD, it means that you have basic hygiene standards. Having the TV volume end on a 5 or a 0 (one of my habits) is a quirk, nothing more and nothing less.
Check out this website for more info (this is good for anyone who likes information, not just people who use inaccurate phrases):


5) Retarded/Spaz/Mong/Flid

Every time I hear these words in general conversation, I feel physically ill that people are really that crass. They’re not even used as ‘naughty’ words – they’re just thrown out there as if it was totally acceptable! This seems to be a particular issue where I’m from, now homophobic slurs seem to have gone out of fashion (at long bloody last) – ’nuff said though, if anyone I know uses these words without consideration- I don’t know them any more.

Click to access disability-terminology-and-etiquette.pdf

Sorry to finish that one on a slightly more serious note! Anyone else got any hated phrases/words?

4 comments on “I’m Sorry – We Can’t Be Friends

  1. hmm, so I’ve never said LOL out lout to anyone but I have to admit that I have written it in texts a few times. Does that count? 🙂


  2. Think I agree with you on all those points! I remember going to a training session once and they’re was a lady who said ‘oh yes, when a computer does that to me I say it’s gone spasticated!’. The trainer and I looked at each other horrified and in disbelief, not knowing what to say. Needless to say I didn’t listen to any other contributions from her that day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m cringing from here! It makes my skin crawl when people say things like that – it sounds so offensive and ignorant.

      I think everyone should carry an airhorn on their person, then sound it at anyone who says things like that to bring their awfulness to their attention 😄

      Liked by 1 person

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